Conflict management is a skill that is necessary for all walks of life. Whether dealing with a personal, professional, or familial cause, possessing the tools for effective conflict diffusion is a valuable attribute. By recognizing and analyzing the five cycles of a constructive conflict process, proper conflict management can be achieved.
Every conflict must begin with a common, recognizable starting point, which is considered the prelude to the conflict. This includes the elements that make conflict possible between the involved parties (Cahn, 2007, p. 155). The prelude to conflict is made of four variables: the participants, the relationship, the interested third parties, and the physical and social environment.
The participants involved in a conflict directly influence how the conflict will play out. Factors such as the disposition, age, attitudes, outlooks, and the sheer number of people involved will all affect the outcome of a conflict. Two people with extremely opposite personalities and backgrounds will likely have a more difficult time resolving a conflict than those of similar temperaments and upbringing. The more people who are involved in a conflict, the more outlooks that will need to be compromised in order to reach a suitable solution.
The relationship of the parties involved in a conflict can also play a huge role in determining how, and if, a conflict will reach resolution. For starters, the basic type and nature of the relationship can be a big factor. Whether the participants are dating, siblings, friends, coworkers, or acquaintances sets the groundwork for the structure of the conflict. The nature of the relationship, such as if there is one dominant and one passive partner, or if one friend is easygoing and carefree while the other is high-maintenance about their relationship, can affect the way in which a conflict is handled. Another large indicator is the way past conflicts in the relationship have been handled. If things were brought to the surface, cleared up, then left in the past, it is more likely that current conflict management will be effective for the relationship. If the people in the relationship are unable to effectively dissipate a previous conflict and continue to bring it up during current conflicts, it is less likely that attempts to fizzle present conflicts will be effective.
The outsiders, or interested third parties, related to a conflict can also affect the way a conflict is managed. To put it best, “Whatever their role, people who have some stake in the conflict – either through participation or from its outcomes – play an important role in the escalation and containment of the conflict,” (Cahn, 2007, p. 157). In relation to interested third parties, their role in an involved person’s life, as well as their disposition and conflict style, all contribute to the path of the conflict. People who are more verbally aggressive and opinionated may push an involved person to be more outspoken and hostile in the conflict. On the other hand, a person who is more communication-driven and objective may cause the involved person to think more thoroughly about their actions and communication attempts, and may actually help to resolve the conflict.
The nature of the third party’s interest in the conflict can also heavily affect the way their influence is used to dissolve, or further exacerbate, a conflict. If the person seeks to receive personal reward from a certain outcome of the conflict, it is likely they will wield their influence in a way as to reach that particular end. If the outsider has no invested personal interest in a particular outcome of a conflict, it is more likely that their influence will push more towards a rational, logical conclusion to the conflict. It is important to analyze the role of other parties involved in a conflict so as to know how heavily to weigh their influence.
The physical and social environment of a conflict also plays an important role in the management of the conflict. The privacy, or lack thereof, when a conflict occurs can determine how it is played out. If the location is extremely public, such as a restaurant, the parties involved may be more likely to keep the conflict calm and controlled, so as not to draw attention or embarrass themselves. If the location is private and comfortable, such as a shared home, it is more likely that the parties will feel less restriction and the conflict will have more likelihood of turning hostile.
On the same note, the familiarity of the other people in proximity of the conflict can also affect the way it ensues. If the conflict occurs around family members, the parties involved would likely be more comfortable letting everything out without fear of being judged. Conversely, if the conflict occurs around strangers or those unfamiliar to one of the parties, it is likely that the conflict will remain more calm and controlled, as they would not want to create a negative impression on the others around. Clearly, all the variables involved in the prelude to conflict are extremely important, and can all have an equally large effect on the outcome of the conflict.
The triggering event is the instance or behavior that at least one person involved in the conflict would deem as ‘the beginning’ of the problem (Cahn, 2007, p. 158). The actual event that leads to a conflict can be seen differently by the people involved in the conflict. Therefore, what one person considers a misstep and cause of a conflict, the other may not see a problem with, and will contribute to the escalation of the conflict by arguing their differing viewpoint. Some of the things that are considered to be triggering events are a failure to respond as desired, inappropriate demands, criticism, noncumulative annoyance, cumulative annoyance, and mutual cumulative annoyance, in which both parties are actively involved in creating annoyance towards each other. All of these factors can be considered triggering events in different situations, completely dependent on the attitude and mindset of the people involved in the conflict.
The initiation phase occurs when the existence of a conflict is made known by one person involved in a conflict to the other person. Both parties involved are then required to make a decision as to how to follow from that point. “Given their assessment of the issue and the time and opportunity necessary to reflect, the persons observing the triggering event then choose to confront or avoid the conflict. The choice is the fulcrum of a dilemma: Conflict is necessary to clarify issues, but conflict is geared because of the feelings of vulnerability and frustration it can arouse,” (Cahn, 2007, p. 159). Once one person has brought the occurrence of conflict to the surface, it is open to being pulled in any direction based on the reactions of the other person involved.
The differentiation phase is the point at which it is obvious that there is a conflict present. This phase can include presenting both sides of the story, using constructive or destructive strategies and tactics, moving back and forth, and escalating and de-escalating (Cahn, 2007, p. 159). This is the stage at which the conflict is discussed, sides and opinions are presented, and generally both parties are able to speak their mind. The past behaviors of the people in the conflict and how they previously dealt with conflicts can help predict how a conflict will play out. People tend to adapt defensive conflict strategies when they are used to not having the upper hand in conflicts, and this can lead to unhealthy, revolving conflict cycles in which one person constantly feels attacked by the other, regardless of the manner in which the conflict is addressed. How the participants interact together, in other relationships, and towards other conflicts in their lives can point to their conflict strategies. In effective conflict cycles, the differentiation stage can allow the involved parties to focus on the true cause of the conflict, and can assist them in diffusing that conflict with proper communication tactics.
The resolution phase occurs when “those involved agree to some outcome to the conflict. At this point, we are looking at a constructive conflict situation in which an incident progresses through stages until successfully resolved,” (Cahn, 2007, p. 161). While there can be multiple win-loss outcomes for a conflict, it can also end in either a resolution, in which the conflict never has to be dealt with again, or management, in which the conflict is dealt with for the current time, but could resurface at a later time (Cahn, 2007, p. 161). A conflict is only truly resolved when the participants are all satisfied with the outcome. When there is lingering confusion or upset about the conflict, and either one or all parties involved feel some remnant discord about the issue, it is more likely that the conflict will come back again, and will have to be managed again.
Proper communication is the largest, most important factor in effective conflict management. Communication allows for the passing of information, the perception of problems, and the interpretation of the actions of others. Without the ability to effectively listen, analyze, and voice one’s own thoughts, the resolution of a conflict is unlikely. It is important, when engaging in a conflict, to remember the basics of communication, and that respect and manners are extremely important when having a disagreement. Regardless of the nature of the conflict, it is important to utilize proper communication to stay focused on the original conflict.
All five phases of conflict management offer important aspects to the nature of disagreement resolution. It is evident that proper communication strategies are important to the possible resolution of a conflict. By recognizing and analyzing the five cycles of a constructive conflict process, proper conflict management can be achieved.
No comments:
Post a Comment